well it has taken me a while but here are my magic things

• the pine cone I picked up on the walk at Stourhead with  Simon and Al 
• the stone dinosaur eggs Gethin chose specially for me at Sker
• a mental picture  of Lizard Point YHA car park looking across to the ocean
• this summer's kidney vetch and thrift and a little piece of Devonian slate from Booby's Bay 
• the shell i picked up on Tenby north beach right after I wrote 'I will be well' in the sand
• the very beautiful hankie my sister gave me to hold when I sleep and the birdsong she downloaded onto a memory stick
• the blackbird who sits on the aerial over the road every morning and sings me awake
• all the love, support, sympathy, messages, phone calls, humour, day trips,  flowers 'last meals' and apple pies that friends and relations have protected me with

Last week the chemo kicked in , also  the radiation dehydration (who knew?) and on Thursday through till Saturday evening I had the Fatigue...which actually once I tuned in to it was OK-basically sudden dips in the ability to move and speak and think requiring me to lie down close my eyes and vaguely hear things around me , conk out, come to again-all smimmy perceptions and droopy limbs like when I was very little. The other thing was the nausea which started once I stopped the anti nausea tablets (hmmmm). Thursday, Friday, Saturday (Thursday the worst) I woke up very early with what felt exactly like pregnancy morning sickness. The chemo pump was disconnected from my PICC line on Friday afternoon and I felt a great weight removed (metaphorically-it's about as big as a baby's bottle) and rushed home to put on my LIMBO and have a BATH!!

Last week was also notable for my Wednesday blood test showing I was anaemic and so may need a blood transfusion  (the radiation works best if you aren't anaemic). Also my PICC line had to be fiddled with every day because my clever body is trying to get rid of it by producing lymph fluid which was making the dressing wet. The PICC line lady was quietly excited, commisioned a digital photo of my arm exhibiting this rare reaction) and obtained my permission to show it to her PICC colleagues at their upcoming conference. It has stopped now thankfully. Also experienced the emotional rawness I had read about, basically most things touched me to tears..the blog's Spotify playlist gets the marvellous 'Crying' in honour of all tears cried

 I had a brilliant weekend-no radiography no chemicals and Lou's degree show. A marvellous family and friends weekend, I had some wine (one glass of wine -felt brill!!) and lots of laughter and art , finishing on Sunday evening after a fab Fathers Day meal in the hotel restaurant (I spotted Sherlock Holmes!!) with everyone back upstairs  in T, P and J's  hotel room  playing competitive hilarious Monopoly while I did some more swimmy droopy limbed lying on the bed zoning in and out of everyone  auctioning railways stations and exacting £6 rentals -back by taxi at midnight-rock and roll!!